My coherent thoughts are here.

Bitch-centric caps coming this weekend here.

These last four episodes might end up being the last caps I do. I just anticipate college eating my brains. And time. Time's important.



Meta jokes. Always fun. (I shall now ignore the patient even more than this episode did.)


I'm sorry. But like I said, I like Cameron this season!


They're already whipped; they answered his whistle.


"What if we're looking at the flu...and decent parenting?" All of the ducklings were great in this episode.


"If we believe in the existence of extreme jerkiness - which I suspect that we do..." They tease House a lot more than the previous batch, don't they?


"31?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought either way was good with you."
aka, "yes, Thirteen's still bisexual."


I thought I was in bizarro land for a minute. Then I thought maybe it was a Wilson-date.


And then I saw CHASE!!sef;ka'fa


"Love, me daddy!" .....so sorry. BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE.


Wilson is busy. Again. (Chase was Wilson in "The Jerk," too! XD)


Because I'm shallow.



Wilson's with Amber. Again.


"I didn't invite you to be nice, I invited you because bowling isn't one of the two things guys do by themselves."


"What's the other thing?"
"Other hand."
.......Wow. I didn't catch this one at first, and it took a while for me to get. Wow.


Hehe.
"I wish the best for them and their tragically deformed children."


I just love that this entire episode is basically Chase's fault.


...one more for good measure >_>


Yes, yes he did, Chase.


"Joint custody." (Yay, a better look at Amber's apartment!)


I missed a few lines of dialog because I was busy trying not to hump my TV........


"Of Wilson?"
"Unless we have another love child."
"...O_O;"


Wilson!fest.


"I don't know how to deal with him when he's...reasonable." It's a brave new world, Wilson.


House's face XD


Notice how Wilson just sits back this entire scene? He's thinking, Yes, right where I want them...mwahahahaha.


"This is his way of accepting us."



"If he's not home by midnight, he won't get asleep until two." See, "custody battle" and "sex" in the same joke...is disturbing.


S1 Wilson?


"You're like dogs circling each other in the park...and I say that with all the love in the world." He's such a bastard, I love him. Can I have him?


"Take my deal, or get out of my apartment."


"Take my deal, or I'm moving in." I CHOOSE OPTION B.


What a dysfunctional family. Just have an orgy and get it over with. OT4!


"My boyfriend's too much of a wuss to make the call himself - and I say that with all the love in the world."


Wilson manipulates by pretending to be a wuss. (He brought food with him! He's entertained!)





Amber and House may be dogs, but Wilson's a puppy. Seriously, there's no better description for some his expressions.


"Let's go."
"No, I...want to hear it..."




.......*wonders whether I should make an oral fixation joke*



This makes me happy. Because I have a not-so-secret desire for Wilson/Kutner action. (The lips!) Now I can squee that they shared food :p







I love that Kutner didn't even ask. (OMG THEY'RE HAVING TEH SEX.)



Uh oh, Amber's not happy...


OMG. He's walking in sync with House. Kutner's a whore!


House gave Kutner Wilson's performance review. "...but you sometimes get too involved." +1


Mm, piano...


"*checks watch* You're fifteen minutes late!" Aww...


"Oh, you're selling religion. I'm sorry, I bought some Islam yesterday." I'm saving that line!


Here's what House was waiting for!


I love that all ignored him. Even Wilson. Doesn't even look at the religion salesman.



"You're late."
"Fifteen minutes."


"Sixteen minutes. My sixteen minutes." And my Wilson!



Yes, Amber. They're going "mini golfing." Right. Cough cough...



"It's my fault. I had to take a shower." Mm, showering Wilson...


"...which was my fault."


WTF. The look Wilson gave her. Didn't even crack a smile?


House is imagining Wilson and Amber having sex.


"I had to take a dump. Anything else I don't need to know?"



...I'm never getting sexy RSL smoochies, am I? You've failed me, Amber! D:



"You've got mommy's numbers, right?" I love how she exits XD


"Daddy needs a drink."


Wilson is God.



Taub's speech. I approve.


"How can House be an ass without it being an illness, but niceness is a biological crime?"
"You got five bucks?"


"Being nice just cost you five bucks. Being an ass generally turns a profit." Mwahaha, I love him.


"You demonstrate a great air of confidence, which is really pissing me off." Okay, I'll stop the Taub love now. XD


OMG. DRUNK!WILSON THE SEQUEL? YOU SPOIL ME, SHOW. (When do we get naked!Wilson? Or sexy!kiss!Wilson?)



"You trying to get me drunk?" he slurred. (I swear he channeled Sean from Nip/Tuck for a moment in this scene.)


Well, you did say that's how to lower your defenses!


...as he drinks his coffee. Probably even decaf, the bastard.


And Wilson is giggly.


If they cut everything and kept this scene, I would have been happy. It had everything.


"What time is it?"
"10:30." Didn't even check a clock.


.........OMG.



"Oooooooh. She'll kill you."


Less talk, more drink.


Doesn't even hesitate!


"Great. She'll kill me. If I, if-if I get any more drunk, I-I'm - it..."





"...won't work." OMG. OMG. OMFG.



"If you know what I mean." Yes, Wilson is discussing his penis with House. I have no words.



"Really? You'd think one or more of your ex-wives would have mentioned that to me." .....Wait. They all discussed Wilson's performance in bed with him? No words.


This show is out-slashing the slashers. How the hell did that happen?


"They told you?" Yeah, how does House get this information from them? I thought they hated him and loved Wilson.


He's quite adorable drunk.



"No no no, you said you approved, you said you were taking the high road. For how long, the first exit?"





"Hello? Thank you for saving me from being rightoused to death."



I refuse to make a comment about House playing with balls. I have higher standards than that.




"Yes, I know about your issue with alcohol. Yes, I intentionally got you drunk to provoke an argument between you and Amber. Why I would do such a thing is an interesting question."


"What's more interesting is that you knew as much as I did. You're the one whose pouring down the drinks. Why?" Yes, Wilson. Why don't you want to sex Amber?




"Because I thought I was out having fun with a friend." Well, you were...





"I didn't know drinks had subtext." Oh, Wilson, you have so much to learn...



If only he had fallen over...




SOAP STUD!! I can't wait until next week.


SURPRISE! YOUS GOT AN STD!


Of course Chase and Foreman sit together.


"Did you sleep with him?"


Kutner is a gossip whore.


"Why aren't you answering me?" Uh oh, calm down, Chase...
"Because it's none of their business. It's none of your business." Uh, er...


"I think the STD makes it my business." Yeah.


*insert Cameron's speech, which actually makes sense*
"...You did, didn't you?" Awkward!


"There's something I need to tell you..."



Wow, Amber scared House.


"You returned him drunk."


"On time."


"So you didn't have sex?"
"I like sex."
"You can have it tonight - the L Word's on."




"Either you're genuinely afraid I'm going to make him miserable, or you're afraid I'm going to make him happy.



"Or you simply can't stop screwing with anything that moves." I know, it's just a play on words. But still! XD


"I either stop seeing Wilson, or I stop you."


"What do you think I'm going to choose?" Those are fightin' words.


"Whoever violates the rules gets their fingers cut off."


"I'm serious."
"So am I."
Wilson goes WTF, they really want me!



Awkward kiss #3.


"...where is she wrong?"


...OMG. SHE'S GOT HOUSE'S NUMBER.


"What were you going to tell me?" For some reason, the way he asked made me melt...
"Nothing."
"You're punishing me?" Now they sound like a couple.


"I needed to tell you something...privately."


"I'm not going to tell her."



"You'll tell her. She's your girlfriend. You should tell her."


"You're my friend."


"...it's not the same." GYAH.


"Don't sulk." Again, the way he said it!


"Where am I wrong?" DOUBLE GYAH.



Just liked this shot.


Winning line of the night: "I don't sleep with everyone who's better than Hitler."


Who the hell was complaining about Wilson's screen time this season? Who?


"You know that thing I was gonna tell you? I gotta tell you."


"I LOVE YOU?"
"WRONG."


"I have to tell someone. You have to swear not to tell CB."


"Whatever."


"That's not swearing, that's shrugging. That's the opposite of swearing."


"*monotone voice* I won't tell Amber." Yeah, that's convincing...


"My team thinks that I have syphilis."


"Do you?"
"Not yet." Huh?


"Why do they think you do?"


House explains his master plot.






"...and as I get better. I get nicer." Best line delivery XD


...


They're so adorable ;_; A real laugh from Wilson!




"That's brilliant."
"Foreman actually thinks I value his opinion."
Wilson laughs at Foreman.





I blame RSL and HL for making the bowling invitation sound vaguely flirtatious.




...PRETTY PLEASE?




"...I'll get my shoes."



"So we don't need to talk about--"
"No."
"You're gonna keep screwing--" (Hookers. He meant hookers.)
"Yeah."




"You're gonna keep talking about it, we are who we are." You know, if you jumped Wilson, you wouldn't need hookers...



I know, Wilson. I wish he would just rip your shirt off and pin you against the wall already, too.


I love that they're both just taking the punishment.


"Where are you two going Friday night?"


"Dinner at Le Berge."


"...you're lying."


"Of course I am."


See, I was like, Wilson's sad!? But then he smiled. Wilson's a complicated dude.
...
Chicks dig complicated :D







I look forward to House kidnapping the soap stud and keeping him locked up XD