Title Struggling to Exhale Oxygen
Rating PG-13
Characters Cuddy, Amber
Word Count 643
Spoilers Season 4
Summary One more reason Cuddy hates Amber.
A/N For cryptictac's House/Cuddy/Wilson/Amber Drabble-A-Thon. Prompt: Pregnancy. Title comes from a line of the Shena Ringo song "Souretsu."



After all these years, Cuddy is amazed that House can still get her so worked up over him just being himself. It's bad enough that he's a constant liability for the hospital, and he's constantly on the brink of death, but now he has her roped up in some bizarre love triangle as a referee.

She pushes the bathroom door so hard that it slams against the wall, but Cuddy doesn't particularly care if there's anyone inside to hear her outburst. She has to let the pent up anger out at some point, preferably before she explodes.

Cuddy leans over a sink and looks at herself in the mirror; God, she looks as exhausted as she feels. Sometimes she wonders why she's an administrator, because it's certainly not a glorified job. With all the stunts House pulls and now the nurse's strike on top of the typical work load, Cuddy thinks she's insane to even bother getting up in the morning when she's sure another disaster is awaiting her.

Someone is vomiting in one of the stalls. Cuddy can see legs from under one of the doors in the reflection of the mirror. Her instincts as a doctor make her ask, “Are you okay?”

No answer except more retching.

Cuddy walks over to the stall and knocks. “I'm a doctor. Could you just answer so I know you're not dying in there?”

The toilet flushes in reply. Whoever's in there obviously doesn't want to talk, but Cuddy's reluctant to leave her in there.

“I'm fine,” she hears a familiar voice say. The door opens to reveal Amber, appearing more exhausted than Cuddy. Cuddy really wants to leave; for some reason, she can barely stand to be in the same room as this woman. She tries not to think about it too much.

Amber pushes past Cuddy and cleans herself up at a sink. When she notices Cuddy is still there, she says, “Really, I'm fine. I'm not going to collapse.”

“You're sick, I'm a doctor, forgive me,” Cuddy responds sarcastically.

“I'm not sick.” Amber dries her hands, balls the paper towel and tosses it into the trash can.

“The sounds of you emptying your dinner into a toilet bowl begs to differ.” This woman is as stubborn as House when it comes to admitting illness. Well, that explains why Wilson's with her rather than his usual type.

“Okay, I'll spell it out for the short bus: I'm not sick,” Amber repeats. “I'm pregnant.”

“Does Wilson know?” It comes out before Cuddy realizes she's spoken her thoughts aloud. She's suspected for some time that Wilson wants kids, but is unsure whether she should be doling out the congratulations. Especially since Cuddy longs to be a few years younger and more fertile herself.

“Of course not. And he's never going to know.” Amber starts to leave.

“But he--”

“Never going to find out,” Amber says harshly, spinning on her heel. “I don't want him to stay with me out of – out of duty.”

Cuddy knows it's true; Wilson would propose to Amber on the spot if he knew. But she's a little surprised Amber wouldn't take advantage of that. Amber could use Wilson to get it all. Unless. “Are you saying you're going to terminate as some kind of test?”

Amber sighs, considers her words for a moment. She walks over to Cuddy. “I have a career.”

“So you're doing this for yourself.”

“Of course. I have to take care of myself,” Amber says. “And James has to learn to do the same for himself.” Cuddy has no response.

After Amber has left, Cuddy finally figures out why the woman makes her so uneasy: she was Amber not so long ago. And even now, after all she's experienced, Cuddy still can't decide if that had been a bad thing.