I finally recovered from the depressing spoilers to screencap the depressing episode!

...what is wrong with me? D:

Coherent thoughts were posted here.

Bitch-centric caps here.



"You like this?"
"....I...don't know."
Come on, best start to an episode ever. Love that House couldn't focus on her for even one second.


"Someone's going to die..."
"KENNY!" (OMG, someone killed Kenny! No? Okay...)
"Not you."


Aha! Bus crash, it all makes sense! Or, you know, not at all...


Yay, Wilson :D (And Cam!glasses.)





Me: Yay, the Bitch is in this one!



"Hey, hold your head still unless you want your nose sewn onto your eye..." I like S4 Annoyed Older Sister Cameron <3


"Why was I on the bus?"
"Because you were drunk. I was getting my sweet revenge."


Is he extra sexy here or am I just nuts?



"Uh...you."


And then Wilson and mini!Wilson's eyes met...



"Did you just forget his name?"
"...No."
I just realized names come up a few times in this ep. OMG. THE IDENTITY THEME THIS SEASON.



"Lesbian."
"...I'm not a lesbian."
"I'm rounding up from 50%."
I think the bi jokes are funny, okay? XD (Plus, Thirteen represents the show's approval of fluid sexualities from her scenes in DEC. Which were all about House and Wilson. Oh yeah.)



Seriously, this is like my most random favorite moment ever.







...let's just stare at Wilson for a while.





"What if it's not a coincidence?"
"...like the hand of God reaching down and screwing with you?"



Oh, Wilson, following House around while acts like an idjit.




Wilson pretty much calls him an idiot. Repeatedly.






Enjoy this split-second =)


Clue #1: "Twenty-something Jane Doe..."
Thirteen has Amber's file now and later on. Maybe I just desperately want to see her interact with Amber one more time, but could they be going somewhere with this?


Kutner and Taub. WIN.


CHASE!!!1! *resists urge to do a gazillion caps of him*


Just because.


Don't roll your eyes just because you wish you were whispering sexily to House!





"Wilson is done talking now."
"....*pout*"


"This is a waste of -- WTF?"



"...cool."


Naughty Wilson!


"ZOMG IS THIS SRSLY WORKING LOL?"



...and then they all had sex. The end.


ST. DORIS!! My expectations were already high, but then they rose when I saw this =D


I wish I were anal-retentive enough to take caps of each second of the strobe lights going, because shadows fall so prettily on RSL's features.


Liquor.


Shot glass.


Beer.


"Why'd you get drunk by yourself at five in the afternoon?"



"...when he's hypnotized, can he lie?" Wilson has a devious plot >=D



"What are you running away from?" His Wilson-love.


"When I'm drinking without you, what am I running away from? Hm. One of those imponderables." So...his Wilson-love.




OMG! ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND! I LOVED THAT MOVIE. Oh, wait...


"He's concerned about you. Why does that make him insecure? It's a legit question."
Clue #2. Amber! (Also, her comment is a total nonsequitur. A memory?)


"Amber's there? You've got Amber in your head?" LOL, AMBER IS IN HOUSE'S HEAD AND WILSON'S HEART? GET IT? GET IT? ...I'll shut up now.


"I can't even have a conversation with you in my subconscious without her tagging along."
"She'd better have her clothes on."


"Unfortunately." Thank you. Amber's hotter than Cameron. He had to at least notice the legs up to Canada XD
...
"I didn't mean to say that out loud."


"Say what out loud?"


"I didn't say it out loud?"


"....?"


"Nothing!"


"What's going on in there!?"


"If I can't lie, I need these two out of here."


"Let's just ignore Wilson and Amber for now, shall we?"
...and, oops, he kind of ignores Amber for the rest of the episode D:



Wine.


Focus, House, god damnit! (Am I the only who loved the pervy smile?)



Raise your hand if, for half a second, you thought, "Cole...?"


Vicodin + Bloody Clothes = ?


A BLOODY GOOD TIME.


"House, do you think is going to work, or are you just stoned?"
"...both, apparently."


There she goes again!


Let me just say that I love that House never has a cane when we're in his mind and that it's been true even way back in Season 1 :D


OH NOES! A NINJA!


No, it's just Wilson scaring the crap out of House....and...touching him......



"I WAS TALKING TO THE PASSENGERS ON TEH BUS." Not like you sound nuts or anything...
"You were hallucinating. You're getting an MRI." Sit, fetch, and roll over.


"Stop fidgeting." Made me as happy as "...don't sulk" in 413.



House looks good on his back.
...
HINT HINT.


"The penis size cortex is set to pathetic."
........NOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PENIS SIZE? (QUICK! WRITE A FIC WHERE WILSON HAS A BIGGER PENIS THAN HOUSE AND HOUSE POUTS XD)


"What didn't you say out loud?"
"Very little."
"When you were under hypnosis, you were talking to Amber."


"I wanted to see her naked. *cowers*"


"Seriously, what were you hiding?"



"I want to see her naked."


"You want to see everyone naked, why would you hide that?"
Everyone? +1 for bi!House.


"Some guys get upset when you objectify their girlfriends. But if you're okay, I've got a digital video camera..."
OMG. THE SHOW LOVES MY OT3 AS WELL AS MY OTP.


"Why would I be upset that you treat my girlfriend like you do every other woman on the planet?"


This is a very Deran Serafian shot. Just sayin'.


"Unless it's deeper than that. You weren't objectifying her."
"Trust me, I want to do some really nasty, demeaning stuff to your girlfriend."


"You have feelings for...her...WTFISTHAT? THIS IS BAD."



Notice how Wilson and House go into the same pose. OMG THEY IS PSYCHIC.



"Why this guy? [...] You never risk your life for them."
Clue #3. The regulars are the only ones House would care about. Wilson, Cuddy, Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Thirteen, Taub, and Kutner are all fine. SO WHO'S MISSING?


ADORABLE.



"Go home."
"*nod*"
....he lives at the cafeteria? XD


Here's a little Detox Redux to go along with the Three Stories and Crandall Redux.


"That movie was released in 1980."
"That was 28 years ago."
"No it wasn't, shut up." .......VALLEY GIRL HOUSE.


Cuddy as a memory.


Cuddy as a fantasy. (I love that she starts bitching at him right away XD)


Cuddy multitasks.


JESUS CHRIST WOMAN.


"...I'm distracting you."
"NO. DANCE, WOMAN."


"You'd rather be diagnosing."
"I screamed 'no'."
"And your own subconscious ignored you. 'Cause you'd rather fantasize about finding symptoms. How screwed up is that?" LOL. Time the second House disengages from a sexual situation.


Cuddy: "OMG IS HE DEAD?"
Wilson: "Idiot."
Thirteen: "...why am I here?"
Foreman: "I call dibs on Diagnostics."


Everyone wants to touch House today.


Weirdest screencap ever.



"You should sit down." Wilson knows best.


See?


"House!" I love it when he acts slightly flamboyant XD


"DR. HADLEY!!"
Finally! Now hurry up and tell everyone her first name is Remy so people will stop asking.


On second viewing, this made me laugh. Cuddy argued with House and everyone just stood around until she told them to bust the door open - which opened in about two seconds XD


House looks good in a bed.
...
HINT HINT.


Hey ma, no limp!


SO CREEPY. AND AWESOME.



Clue #4: Amber necklace.


Alternate theory to my coherent post: So Amber is House, and Wilson dating and being attracted to Amber is just a really safe way to scream HE WANTS HOUSE. So if The Answer is Amber, and House finds Amber to be important because of what she means to Wilson, then...this right here is a safe way of screaming HOUSE WANTS WILSON? Or maybe I unknowingly smoked crack.


Clue #5: Red ribbon. (I wonder if they're going all Sixth Sense with the red in this? Because Amber's wearing red in the teaser for the next episode in what is obviously a hallucination/dream.)
Clue #6: The dialog.
"I have to tie this around you."
"I'm cold."
"Stay with me."




...just wildly amused to see House zipping up in front of Cuddy.


Survivor Competition Redux?
...which is really sick considering the context. And Thirteen is Jane Doe #2 (Amber).


Have some Wilson.



"Stop staring at my breasts. And don't say, 'or lack thereof.'"
MOST RANDOM MOMENT. Although it makes sense Cameron makes House think of small boobs.


Damn you, House, making Wilson worry more!



"Why are you here?"
"You believe in reason above all else. There must be a reason." Okay, that just felt very Matrix to me.



"Who am I? [...] You know who I am. What's my necklace made of?"


"...Jupitah?" (Please tell me I'm not the only one who grew up on All That D:)


"......no."
This is where my heart begins to break. Oh god, I'm going to be a mess next week, aren't I?


"....Amber."


DING DING DING. YOU IS WINNER.
...and I think her oh-so-peaceful expression is hint #7.



Go see the Bitch-centric caps if you want to see Amber tossed around. This scene was really hard to watch ;_;


Yes, obvious to us and some casual viewers, but not everyone. AND I DON'T CARE, I LIKE IT. (IT MAKES THE SEAN=HOUSE THING LOOK LESS CRAZY, TOO. WIN-WIN.)


Raise your hand if, for half a second, in the back of your mind, you thought House was about to strangle her. God, my subconscious is warped.


"I have to tie this around you."
"I'm cold."
"Stay with me."


Reaching out for Amber. (And thus Wilson?)
...GOD I LOVE THIS SEASON.


I yelled out at this, because it made me think of 97 Seconds, when House got Amber to revive him instead of Wilson. And I thought, "HOUSE, WILSON WOUND UP HAVING TO REVIVE YOU ANYWAY. POOR WILSON."


...this is one screwed up three-way.


House's little gasp T_T
(But his heart stopping twice in one season? Holy crap. It'd be generous to say House won't make it to 60.)


"...Amber..."


"What's that, House? Amber's trapped in the well?"





"Have you spoken to her?"
Wilson's "oh shit" moment...OUCH. OUCH. Started tearing up. I'm going to sob uncontrollably next week, then.










Yes, Jane Doe #2. Again, Thirteen has the file.


"Does Amber have a birthmark on her right shoulder blade?"




FUCK. I think I just heard Wilson's heart break. Again.



"Amber was on the bus. She's the one who's dying."


NOOOOOO. I WANT NEXT WEEK NOW, GODDAMNIT. GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. *looks at Marykir's screencaps of the teaser for 416 obsessively*