EDIT: THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR DOING THESE IN THE MORNING. NEVER AGAIN. I'll just leave the various mistakes in, because it's pretty funny XD

I are smart. I could get these up sooner if I just take my laptop to me with school and take screncaps during my painful four hours of downtime between classes. Yeah. I'll try that next week.

I'm trying to adhere strictly to doing caps of House and/or Wilson this season to save some time. So there's not much Mr. Sprinkles, even thought I LOVELOVELOVE him.



"Blah blah blah medical crap blah."
"What did Wilson ever do for me?" Once again, distracted by thoughts of Wilson. You know, like he's in love or something.


"Oh, sure, he made me laugh on a rainy day, made me see colors I never knew..." A rainbow of colors, perhaps?



"On the other hand...Gilbert Godfrey makes me laugh. And how many colors are there, really? Once you have red, blue, and green..." Yellow, House. Not green. Green will not help too much...



House's team wishes he would just jump Wilson. Not because it would make them happy. But because it would make him shut up.


"He paid for your lunch, liked monster trucks, and was your conscience." I love Kutner. He's a goofball and a little insane, but he's never distracted from the case.


Emo!House.


Dr. O'Shea...a poor, unsuspecting soul...





1. Paying for food? "...check."


"Are you following me?" (He's really thinking: "OH GOD OH GOD HOUSE IS GOING TO ASSRAPE ME.")


"Word is...you're into monster trucks."
"My kids like it."
"But not you?"
"Predator's okay, but the California Crusher's overrated."


2. Likes monster trucks?
*gay-for-Wilson smile* ...check!


"...Are you checking me out?"



House pops his drugs. "You got a problem with that?"
*shrug*



"I think I'm falling in love."
Dr. O'Shea is officially uncomfortable.



"Do you have some ethical problem with what I'm doing that you can express in a unique way which might actually make me think that I'm wrong, even though I'll never admit it?"


"...Yes."
I adore Mr. Sprinkles, but...come on! Dr. O'Shea!


3. House's conscience?
"You are funny." ...check!



Okay, best scene EVAR:
"You want to come over and watch Prescription Passion at my place tonight?"
(My first thought - wow, that sounds ridiculously gay. Second thought - he forced Wilson to watch that shit? Poor Wilson.)



"You know I'm not gay, right?"
(Wait! It gets better!)


"Neither am I. If you don't want to have sex, that's cool with me."
..............WTF.
("You're not gay, you're adventurous!" + "I didn't say you were gay, I said you had sex." + this = officially a pattern!)


"I'm not coming over to your home."


"I'll grow on you."
Dr. O'Shea desperately hopes not.


"You want it to be cancer so you have an excuse to talk to Wilson."
Foreman, always speaking the truth about the HoYay. That should be his official job.


Wow, they really suck at this, don't they?


"Dr. O'Shea's not right for you..."
Sweet baby Jesus, I hope someone is making fantastic fanvideos and fake!trailers using stuff from this episode. Just begging to be taken out of context!



"Why are you investigating him?"
"'Cause I need to know if he lends money interest-free."


"I want ice cream!"


"NOT UNTIL YOU LEARN TO READ." NO ICE CREAM FOR YOU.
Is there actual ice cream in the truck? Or did House and Mr. Sprinkles just decide to go get some before stalking O'Shea?


"You're supposed to trust friends."
"I don't even know the guy. Got no logical reason--"



"To be his friend. Have you ever seen an after-school special? That is the pleasure of friendship: trusting, without absolute evidence, and then being rewarded for that trust."
Stalking and obsessively learning every detail of someone's life: that's how House rolls.


"You're taking pictures of a guy having an affair with his own sister..." WHUT? "...and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust?"


"There are two types of people who hire me. No, actually, there's three types of people that hire me. But the third type's irrelevant to the point I want to make. One type wants to find out that they're right, one type wants to find out that they're wrong."




"Which type am I?"
"You're the third type." WTF? When I saw this clip on the website, I knew I was going to love this guy XD


"You lead with the irrelevant types?"
"You're type doesn't care if you're right or wrong, because they've hired me to investigate the wrong person."
"That's an actual type?"


"You want me to check out Wilson."
YES PLZ


"How do you know about Wilson?" ("OMG HE KNOWS ABOUT THE BUTTSEX.")
No words for how much I love his expression here.


"Are you checking me out?"
EVERYONE'S CHECKING EVERYONE OUT!


"You want to find out if he's pining. You want to find out if there's something about him that will tell you he's gonna come back. Or something you can use to make him come back."
Dude, Mr. Sprinkles. You're rendering my job redundant!


"...is there?"






"No. No, there's nothing. Sorry."
STOP GAZING INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES.





I just realized the patient's name is really Apple. I'M STILL CALLING HER PENNY, DAMNIT.
"You don't care who I used to be?"
"You're a post-corneal transplant math teacher. I deduced you were a blind math teacher."
"I was an architect."



"You gave up architecture after you could see?"



"The world was ugly."



"You think the world would be any different if your leg was fine?"
"Nope."



"Think you'd be any different if your leg was fine?"


"The doctors told me my life was going to be so much better once I could see. I would date, I would dance...but the guys I hated dancing with before, I hated dancing with after."
All this talk of dancing makes me think of Doctor Who. Where dancing is not dancing. If you get my drift.


"My parents are still dead. I'm still alone.


"You're fun." LOL.


"You don't seem all that different."


"I haven't given up."
I have no words :D



"Wilson's got a new job. Hasn't started yet, but..."


You know you're obsessed when you notice something about this scene. (Hint: About they way they're walking.)


"He attends this grief counseling thing, where they go around the room, and cry about who's dead. Cameron's been to his house several times, they just talk about death and losing loved ones."
I have to have a mini-rant: Okay, so folks who slash House/Wilson are OMG SEXUALIZING INNOCENT (LOL) MALE FRIENDSHIPS, and yet some are seriously speculating something's going on with Wilson and Cameron. Riiiiiight...


"Dr. Cuddy's been over to Wilson's twice and phoned a bunch of times. Foreman called him. The rest of the time, Wilson's been reading meditation books and magazines about restoring barns."
......WTF. BARN RESTORATION? IT'S SO RANDOM, I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT.


"What did Wilson say about me?"
"Oh, you've never come up." Aww, House.


"In the grief counseling or the other...?"
"Anywhere. I got three bugs in his home and one his car. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't even know you existed."
Okay, I officially OD'd on sad!House. ROAD TRIP PLEASE.


"Which is good news. Only two things you ignore: things that aren't important, and things you wish that aren't important. And wishing never works."
What? You want me to add something to that?



WILSON!!1!


"I need an epiphany."
This scene is pretty funny if you replace "epiphany" with "sex." Why, yes, my mind is always in the gutter.



...



Waitwaitwait. Wilson makes $300 an hour? I'll gladly enter a loveless marriage with him!



House wants to pay Wilson. For an epiphany, that is.


"There are other oncologists."
"Better oncologists. But I need you." Very...House.




Now he's throwing money at Wilson.
Awkward~!







"...say whatever you feel like saying until something triggers an idea in my head."
"That's not the way it works."



"You have a way of thinking about things. It's sloppy, it's undisciplined...not very linear. It complements mine. Drives me down avenues I wouldn't otherwise--"
"House."



"Please go away."


House keeps talking. Wilson slams door. Well, tries to.



HOT. /shallow


Wilson can't even bare to look at him ;_;


"How are you?" ("I CAN CHANGE WILSON. REALLY. ALL FOR YOU. WILSONNNNNN.")



"Don't do this. Please. Please. Don't do this. I'm trying to move on."
This dialog is lifted straight out of every romance-drama. No, seriously. The writers can't get anymore obvious. I need friendship super-powered microscope to not see the GAY.






"You're hanging out with Cameron. You're talking to Cuddy, Foreman. But not me?" ("LOVE ME WILSON. LOVE ME.")







WHAT IS HE THINKING?


"I paid a private investigator to spy on you."






"You didn't."





"Want to move on from me, you have to deal with me. Talk with me." Any excuse, House.



"You had no right!"




"We're not friends anymore. So, trust can be breeched. I can have you followed, call you names, tell your secrets."
...and how is that different than how you already treat him? House, you're just digging a deeper hole for yourself.



Enough with this uncomfortable emotional stuff! Back to he medicine!





"I have the right to walk away from you, House. There is a world beyond you, and you need to realize that. Even if you don't, I am moving on. The next time you knock, I'm not answering."
Ouch.










...are you waiting for something, Wilson? You can slam the door whenever you like.




You know the moment Wilson shut that door, he started sobbing uncontrollably. Yes.


"How many friends do you have?"
"Seventeen."
"Seriously. You have a list?"
"No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer so you could get back to your train of thought."
"Well done. I have one. Had one." D:


Mr. Sprinkles gives House the epiphany!
"The world's not as ugly as she thinks it is."


Points for Cuddy. I'm feeling slightly less nauseous at the thought of her and House hooking up. I don't know if I'll reboard that ship, but let's take it one step at a time...


House being sad in Wilson's office. This show is granting all my wishes ;_;


And I'm so making an EPIC HOUSE/WILSON FANVIDEO using this song.







"You have no one else, so you're paying a guy to listen."
I just want to point out: THIS is House alone. Unless Wilson dies at some point, the series will not end with House alone.


Fastforward to House saving the day. "How do I look?"


"Sad."
IN CASE YOU TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD THE LAST TWO EPISODES.


Now...is that Amber's apartment? I'm hoping no, because that means WILSON MADE A HEALTHY CHOICE FOR ONCE IN HIS WARPED LIFE.