Wasn't sure if I was going to bother with a reaction post, but leave it to Russel T. "I wish I were Joss Whedon" Davies to break my brain after Dollhouse already did...


Day One
Where to even BEGIN?

Well, the biggest WTF of all was not only is Jack a father, he's a freakin' GRANDFATHER. Oh holy shit what. Just...out of no where, HAY BY THE WAY. Maybe the badfic writers will realize that's creepy and wrong. Doubt it, though. (Note to self: make icon that says "GILF: Grandfather I'd Like to Fuck") Trying to figure out how that fits in the already convoluted timeline is...well, brain-breaking.

"It's not men. It's not all men. It's just him." What, seriously? That's actually surprising to me, since I always read Ianto as bisexual. I mean, he had no problem finding his sexy gay boy clothes to seduce Jack when it turned up at Torchwood Three. Little thing there broke my brain.

Goddamn, I love Gareth David-Lloyd so hard.

And Jack and Ianto are acting simultaneously adorable and weird. "I hate the word 'couple'." "....me to." (Then my mom went "Awwwwww =(" and made me lol.) Well, I already get WTF is going on with Ianto; he spelled it out with his sister (and OMG his family is insane - no wonder we've never seen them before). Doesn't know where this is going. I'd assume Jack's behavior relates back to Owen and Toshiko's deaths. 'Cause last season, he was practically begging Ianto to take him back...

Side note: I'm not a big Jack/Ianto shipper (more into Jack/John and Jack/Martha). I like the pairing, but I'm not OMG OTP about them. There are a lot of interesting things to be explored with the relationship and the show is really dealing with it and it's awesome and they're so freaking adorable this season why. (Accidentally stumbled upon a spoiler, so I do kind of know why. Shut up.)

And these lines: "We need a kid." "I can get you Weevils, [blahblahblah]...can't get you a kid." "We're having a baby, Ianto!" ...um, interesting choices ;)

And Gwen's pregnant, WTF! I kind of figured it'd happen sooner or later, but not...sooner. I love that Gwen and Rhys have a stable, long-term relationship that's not being broken up for drama. They dated, and got engaged, and married, are looking at a house, and now looks like a kid's on the way. (Take your kid to work day will be interesting, to say the least.)

Um, 456. Creepy kids. Dude sniffing Gwen. Weeeeeird.

Yeah, totally thought the doctor was going to replace Owen. They got me there.

Martha married Tom, whoopee. Knew it was going to happen eventually, but jeez. If Tom actually popped up once in a while and was a REAL character, it wouldn't bother me. Next thing you know, Martha and Gwen's kids are going to have play dates together...

And they blew up Jack. WTF.

I'm so glad I don't have to wait a week for more.





Day Two
GWEN, YOU BAMF. I OFFICIALLY WORSHIP YOU IN A TOTALLY SLIGHTLY LESBIAN WAY BECAUSE I HATED YOU AT FIRST AND MY LOVE HAS MANAGED TO GROW LEAPS AND BOUNDS TO WHERE IT IS NOW. IT'S LIKE DONNA ALL OVER AGAIN. BUT BETTER. I mean, I snarked about her and Martha's kids having play dates yesterday, but today I was thinking that would actually be kind of cute OH GOD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME?

LOL @ Rhys carrying Gwen's bag so her trigger finger would be free.

Ianto...dad. Leg-breaking? D: Um, coming in and saving the day was awesome, though. Very Village People, indeed...

And Jack. OMG. Reminded me of Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen putting himself back together. IT'S STILL REALLY FREAKING HORRIFIC. And yet, as Jack was screaming bloody murder and still skinless:

Mom: "My penis is gone!"
Me: "Oh no, it's the end of Jack's universe!"

Cement. Seriously? I thought it couldn't get worse than being buried for 1,000 years. They are really trying to find the most awful ways to off Jack, aren't they? At the end, after the cement block was smashed and Jack walked out wearing nothing but dust and handcuffs...besides pervy thoughts, I just kept thinking, Bad day. Started bad, got worse. That had to be the Worst Day Ever.

Hey, at least now it's been answered whether Jack really is 100% invincible. If that didn't keep him dead, nothing will.

Yeah, I pretty much figured Lois was going to be a new addition, especially once Dr. Patanjali was offed. I like her so far. Yeah, she's obviously neither a new Owen or Toshiko...she's doing Ianto things. =(





Day Three
THE COAT LIVES. Clearly, that's all that mattered.

And OMGRHYS. That about sums it up.

The 456 have arrived and WTF is it spewing all over the place and most of all, WHY? Ew. Creepy. Intense scene; I totally thought Robashire (or HTF you spell his name) was going to die suddenly there.

Torchwood robbing people blind to fund their illegal activities and treason in order to save the world = PRICELESS. Ianto and Jack walking...then running with the credit cards. Just. Priceless.

Jack has a big mouth. And an evil grin.

"One day, you'll see me die...of old age." ORLY, Ianto? Wishful thinking, much?

But Ianto wanting to shag Jack right then and there was lolarious (and sweet). How does he manage to out-perv Jack? First the infamous stopwatch scene ("....OH."), and this time Jack gets propositioned and his reaction is, "But the world's ending!" And of course Rhys refused to leave. (Let me guess, there's eleventy million fics where Rhys actually left.)

Yes, Lois is continuing to grow on me. Pretending she's shagging Robashire in order to save the world...didn't see that one coming.

"Queer!" "OI! .....it's not 1965 anymore." Uh, yeah. Ianto's totally bi. Defensive much? Admittedly, adorable. "I can smell it on him!" LOL.

Oh god. The camera lens "fun." Torchwood is still misusing their tools, I see...

"Moth?" "Shut up." "Smilies?" "Shut up." Nuff said.

I have to say, Jack giving them the kids is not really OMGSHOCKING. He's done it before. (That fairy episode...too lazy to look it up. I remember, because I WTF'd really hard then.)

Anyway, I'm in awe of how much the show's improved from season to season.





Day Four
Everyone's reactions to the big reveal was great. In a horrifyingly awkward way.

Okay, 10% of the kids is WTF, but the fact that they're haggling is even bigger WTF. And the one woman talking about basically giving them all the poor kids in the poor schools WTFUCKINGFUCK. But this is the stuff GOOD sci-fi is made of. I never thought I'd say that about Torchwood. You know how people say Torchwood is about a bunch of bisexual alien-catchers...and sometimes they actually catch aliens? THIS IS ACTUALLY ABOUT THE ALIENS. AND THE SCI-FI. IT'S CRAZY.

I know Jack's dealing with a lot, but he was acting like a little bitch. And Ianto was trying too hard. I got the sense that, had this not ended the way it did, they probably would have split. It's like Ianto's really dealing with what being with Jack truly entails for the first time. (I notice fangirls go crazy every time they kiss - but little stuff makes me squee. Like running over to Jack after he got shot.)

Ianto and Jack running off with guns, in the car...RAWR. I admit, this show is why I have a waistcoat fetish.

"And, uh, I think that's it." Yeah, I'm loving Lois. And Torchwood's actually pretty smart. Go figure.

Clem D:

IANTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So I didn't sob like a baby, surprisingly, especially since I didn't even expect him to die in this episode. Or like that. Still, damn. Ianto. He was like...Wilson of Torchwood. (I tuned into House for House, and fell in love with Wilson, and will stop watching if Wilson were written out. I tuned into Torchwood for Jack, and fell in love with Ianto. But I'll keep watching 'cause Torchwood keeps getting BETTER.)

"No, not him!" Oh, Jack. =(

"In a thousand years, you won't remember me." AGGGH. TEARING UP NOW, OKAY.

"I love you." "Don't." OH GODDDDDDD T_________________T

AND, UGH, GWEN, WHEN SHE REALIZED EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING WAS DEAD.

FFFFUUUUUUUUCK. GWEN UNCOVERING JACK AND SMILING, AND THEN HESITATING TO LOOK AT IANTO AND THEN JACK WAKING UP AND FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Even though I know this is making the already batshit fandom more insane, I'm fine with Torchwood killing off characters left and right. Besides just emphasizing the danger, and how it's different from Doctor Who, it does emphasize Jack's immortality. Characters are going to come and go, and we're going to keep falling in love with them even though we know it won't last...just like Jack.





Day Five
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Um, yeah D:

That was easily some of the most fucked-up shit I've ever seen on TV.

Shit.

I can't even list the things that were fucked-up, there was so many.

Damn.

FANTASTIC TV, but rather soul-crushing. I kind of don't want there to be a fourth season - end on a high-point (writing quality-wise), plus from here, we can just assume Jack bounces around in space and eventually becomes the Face of Boe.

I don't think this can ever be topped.

I'll have to write something more coherent later.

But, fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

EDIT: My mom also agreed this made for a good series finale and said it was better than what Buffy got.

See that, RTD? You not only became Joss Whedon, you surpassed him. At least this time. XD