This week, I shall not tell you which quotes I made up. Just to prove how screwed up this show is XD

Ack, Bulimic Slut! *hides*


Sean being a dork in the face of sex, again. (And did I mention the songs Nip/Tuck picks are always perfect?)


"Oh...Christian!" Hm, awkward.


"It was just a matter of time until you got that stick out of your ass." Mind. Gutter.


"This was a get-it-out-of-our-system screw. Don't worry. Clinginess after sex happens, especially with older guys." There is something deeply wrong with me for liking her a bit more for that line. Seriously.


"I don't date guys with gray pubes." Oh, Sean. XD


"You lying bitch." Right to the point!


Hey, Kimber, if the shoe fits...


"You've been putting our granddaughter at risk!" *squee*


Kids.


Parents.


DISAPPOINTMENT. JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS, FOOL.


"KIMBER J00 IS UGLY AND ST00PID."


"AND A CRACKHO."


Notice how Julia is entirely absent.


Matt is just talking to his two dads.



"The double daddy store's closed."


"...our granddaughter..." *is easily amused*


Oh, here's the half-assed acknowledgment that Julia is Matt's parent, too. Not that anyone really cares XD


PLASTIC FANTASTIC! ...wait, no? Oops.


OH NOES. NIP/TUCK IS COPYING A PLOT FROM HOUSE (CANE & ABLE, FYI). THERE'S NO ORIGINALITY LEFT IN TV. Yes, I'm going to keep mocking that kind of complaint.


I have no shame.



...awkward.


"Could I get his number? ...just for research purposes."


I think my TV just melted from the shameless gay. Not to mention dude he just grunted like two times. AWKWARD.


"What do you want, Kimber?"
"You. Inside of me." These two and their lame pick-up lines belong together =P


Hey, I think Cuddy shops at the same place as Kimber!


"I guess if you're going to be a degenerate slut, you might as well get paid for it. I would know."


Julia's really unnecessarily bitchy this episode when Olivia is awesome. Julia, minus 5,000 cool points.


...and the episode officially gets creepy.



The people behind this show are seriously sick. I love them for that.


Who would think to do this to their characters? o_O


Julia's awesomeness in this scene doesn't balance out her overall bitchiness in this ep, though.


LIZ! (And, OMG ANI DIFRANCO!)


And the new love triangle begins. (But if you count Sean, wouldn't that be a square? ...ow, my brain.)


"Hey, Seany."



"Hey, you and Aidan done jerking each other off?" Jealous much?


I will not make House reference to this scene. I will not. Not, not, not.


Say not to guns, kids.


Kimber fascinates me in her fucked-upness.


Sean fails at not looking like a loser.


"Alright girls, take off. Seriously. Take off." ...Great. I'm now slashing these two.


Bulimic Slut strikes again!


...


Unintentionally funny cap.


It really bothers me that she's supposed to be bulimic but seems perfectly healthy (physically that is).


Hot.


Real subtle, Nip/Tuck. =P


Kimber shatters Matt's heart into a gazillion pieces. A gazillion.


"...but i luv u."


Yeah, slapping your wife around wasn't a good idea there, Matty.


And she's taking his kid.


SUCKS TO BE YOU, MATT.


See, he looks cool now...


"Call 911, I'm having a heart attack!" ...yeah. Serves him right.


"He didn't have a heart attack, he had an adverse reaction to Ecstasy. You know there's an age limit on that!"


"We're having an affair. Sort of."
"Sort of? Is that like being a little pregnant?"


Awkward Moment #323523


"Listen, you little bitch..." Awesome! Still doesn't balance out Julia suckass bitchiness in the rest of the ep.
"You think prancing around in your short skirt and seducing older men makes you special? It doesn't! It makes you a stupid whore!"


"That decaf?"
"Yes, Dad."


*Twilight Zone music plays* This part was weird. Just...watch it, if you haven't.


Father-son chat. Christian style.


Ava reference! (Does Matt have mommy issues? That's two older women...)


...yeah, that's not talking.



"What are you doing?"
"Tryin' to make a man out of you!"


"You've always been such a whingy little bitch! No wonder Kimber dumped you!"
"What, you don't love me either?"
"Of course I do, I'm your father!"


"I don't want to see you until you get your shit together!"


"Until then, consider yourself an orphan!"


"Is Sean home?" All I'm thinking is oh my god, they're still living together!?


And this is why Julia sucks this week.


Good work, Matt. I'm sure you made Christian proud.


...Yeah.