Okay, the emotions in this episode were too epic for TV. It hurts too damn much. D:

...and it's harder to watch the second time around.

It's like Crash. Except I've known the characters for 86 episodes instead of 2 hours.

Bitch-centric caps coming here soon (like, within a day).



Opens with TRAGIC WILSON.


House repeatedly looks over at Wilson in this seen. Ugh D:


More tragic Wilson.



House looking over at him again.




"You're not her doctor, you can't make that decision."
"But her husband can." Interests me how House lies about Wilson being married to Amber, and earlier, Amber lied about being pregnant. Don't think it's significant, just interesting.



I have nothing intelligent to say. Oh god, Wilson DDD:




God, he looked like crap the entire episode (I say that with all the love in the world), as he should.


Shit.
"Wilson, don't get lost!"





There goes Amber's heart. She's doomed from this point on.



Wilson wants to freeze her. HE JUST WANTS TO MAKE IT ALL STOP ;_;



"House, this is Amber! Please!"


...and of course House does it.


Watching Amber. Tragically.




"Why are we doing this?"
"Bought us time to think."


I have to say, the Wilson-love on the show is a nice antidote to the Wilson-hate in fandom.


Of course, Taub thinks House and Amber were having an affair. Because he himself is a serial adulterer and totally wanted a piece of that. (Amber. Not House. That I know of.) That, and the circumstances were suspicious...



Now for a tiny bit of comic relief.


Hm, what's on the video? Okay, Amber...


"You look nervous."
"I-I've never done this before!"
"I have >=D"
............OMFG. WILSON SEX TAPE SCANDAL. XD


NO PORN FOR YOU.


...I'm kind of shipping them.


"The things he likes about himself." Here comes the masturbation.


I loved the Bitch right away because she had chemistry with everyone. And this is seriously the hottest thing ever to happen on the show.


House wants to do the electrical brain stimulation.


Cuddy says NO. Wilson quietly agrees.





"Brain activity spiked."
"Random spikes are common."
"Shut up."
Oh god, Wilson hoping she can hear him D:





House gets paged and the team stares at them. (And I just noticed that House told Wilson to come along with him.)


"I could have told you she doesn't do drugs."
And then Kutner hands over the diet pills.




Oh, and she was hiding it in her vitamins.
...sucks to be family of one of House's patients, huh?




"That's the safer choice?"
"If we're wrong."
"Since when do we start assuming we're wrong?"


More sad Wilson as House talks about his dream during the DDX. Which actually turned out to be relevant.





IF THIS DOESN'T BREAK YOUR SOUL, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE D:



They figure out what House's dream meant.



"Wilson's right." Going along with another of his ideas.


At the scene of the crime. I mean, bar.


"Was I here with a tall, blonde woman?"
"Yeah, I think she joined you after scotch number seven."
WHY IS HOUSE REPEATEDLY LOOKING OVER AT WILSON SO HEARTBREAKING?



"I didn't have time to stop and analyze the color of your girlfriend's boogers."
"She's not my girlfriend, genius."
GYAH. AGAIN.


"She was hot, you seemed into her, and she bought you a drink. Last night, she was your girlfriend."




...WILL I EVER HAVE COHERENCY DURING THIS EPISODE?



Starts normal enough.




HOLY CRAP.


Amber shows why hepatitis is a bad diagnosis.


House stands on the other side of the room while Taub and Foreman check her back.


........Come on, you can laugh.


Want some more sad Wilson? You need lots of angst in your diet, you know.






House's expression ;_;


God, Wilson just looks so lost.





"We're never one hundred percent certain!" Foreman speaks the truth.


But then Wilson does this...




...and House just overrides Foreman.


"I said..." Oh man.


Someone please kidnap RSL so I can hug him so I can feel better D:


This show really loves Larry Craig jokes, huh? (And OMG HL HAS MASSIVE FEET. HE ALMOST CRUSHED OW'S.)


"Sorry, wide stance."


"I dealt with it."
"By not getting tested. Dealing with it by not dealing with it. It's clearly working for you."
"You're the champion of not dealing with your problems."


"You're screwing up this case worse than I am."
Wow, a mutual smack-down.


DON'T CRY, WILSON.


CAMERON WILL HEAL YOU.


Because I have a sleeping-House fetish. (And the music playing? I'll forever call it "Teardrop ~ SUPER FUN TRAGIC VERSION ~")


Gotta love the irony of Foreman telling Cuddy House is going to kill the patient...not because of a crazy idea, but pretty much the lack of them.


"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!"


God, he's so pathetic right now ;_____________;



Angry Wilson is...scary. =(
(And on second viewing, I realized Cuddy was pretty awesome in this episode. She kept her composure why Wilson was screaming in her face.)





"...inside voices."


Then she forces a diagnosis out of House.


"He's the attending. You're the family. Go spend more time with the patient."




Um, I can't capture it in still images, but Wilson gets this little twitch here that gets me.


"You can't do this."
"That's not a good argument. That's not an argument at all. I'm sorry."




Wilson leaves. (After kicking a chair, of course.)


Then he remembers.


Wilson asks House to do the deep brain stimulation. Now for a painstaking blow-by-blow, because HOLY INTERNAL CONFLICT BATMAN.






"I thought if everything stopped, it'd be okay."
"And it's gonna be." D:




"What if there's something else, and it's stuck inside your head?"


And then House's Reaction of Heartbreak.




"You think I should risk my life to save Amber's?"



MORE INTERNAL STRUGGLE. IT HURTS. ME, THAT IS.




MY GOD, HE EVEN HESITATES MID-NOD.


More House Heartbreak.






No hesitation in agreeing to do it. Oh god. Oh god. He loves Wilson so much ;_;


THIS. No one's mentioned this look right here. Ungh.





"Who were you calling?"


"Dial-a-Wilson."
OH GOD. DDDDDD:


"I was on call."
"I-I...." OH MY GOD. HE SOUNDS SO SMALL AND BROKEN.


"Amber was home."
"I told her to find you, have you pick me up."


UNGH.


And the mislead gets explained.


The reason Amber is on the bus: the cane. The one Wilson bought for House.


"You doing this for me or for Wilson?"
"For Wilson."


THE PILLS THAT KILL AMBER. IN CASE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH AMBER-HOUSE COMPARISONS.


UNGH.


"....Don't do it." AS TRAGIC MUSIC PLAYS.


Wilson gets all excited when he finds out it's the combination of pills and destroyed kidneys that's killing her...


...only to have that little joy BEATEN OUT OF HIM.
"What? What's wrong?"


"Dialysis can't clear it out the blood. There's nothing we can do."


"I'm so sorry."


".....Amber D:"



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK DDDDD:





MORE HOUSE=AMBER FOR YOU.



And tragic Wilson.




FUCK YOU DAVID SHORE AND ROBERT SEAN LEONARD AND ALL YOU WRITERS D:

















I COME UP WITH SOME SICK STUFF TO DO TO MY CHARACTERS, BUT THE HOUSE WRITERS ARE REAL SICK MOFOS. AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT. (SAYS THE ANGSTWHORE.)





This is part where their being doctors makes this so much more - yes - TRAGIC. Amber notices she's on by-pass, Wilson tells her what happened in a bunch of medical jargon, and she knows she's - not "dying" but "dead" - and that it was the pills.


I'm only cutting the Amber stuff short, because I always do a separate batch that focuses on her.


FUCK YOU, GOD.


AND SHUT UP, I LIKE THE AMBER/THIRTEEN HUG, NO MATTER HOW CLUNKY.


"I think it's time to go to sleep."


"Just a little longer."
"We're always going to want just a little longer."


"It's okay."
"It's not okay. Why is it okay with you? Why aren't you angry?"
"That's not the last feeling I want to experience."


T__________________________________________________T


Aaaaand...


...she's dead. *sobs*


Meanwhile. (I really, really like the music here.)




"Everybody dies."


"Am I dead?"


"Not yet."


"I should be."
"Why?"
"'Cause life shouldn't be random. This lonely, misanthropic drug addict should die in bus crashes. The young do-gooders that love, get dragged out of their apartment in the middle of the night should walk away clean."


"Wilson's gonna hate me."



"You kind of deserve it."


"....he's my best friend."



THIS also got me. It just added to House's child-like comments D:


"Get off the bus."


"I can't."


"Why not?"
"Because...because it doesn't hurt here. I'm not...I don't want to be in pain. I don't want to be miserable. And I don't want him to hate me." I'M DONE.





"Well, you can't always get what you want."


THIS SONG. HIS FACE. I HAD REAL TEARS THE SECOND TIME AROUND AT THIS PART.





And he's back, despite his subconscious destroying any shred of hope he may have had.


JUST BECAUSE KUTNER IS LOVE.


AND NOW FOR THE SCENE THAT BROKE FANDOM.













IN CASE YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE DONE: MORE TRAGIC WILSON.






AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, ONE MORE SHOT OF TRAGIC HOUSE. IN CASE YOU DON'T GET THIS WAS A REALLY SAD EPISODE.


I DON'T THINK THE SHIP IS DEAD. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE IN THE MOOD FOR FRIVOLOUS SMUT FIC. BECAUSE THIS DEVASTATED ME.

AND IS WIKIPEDIA SPEAKING THE TRUTH ABOUT SEASON 5 STARTING IN AUGUST? BECAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY SWEET.